Mocker Music Bracket-Round One, Part One

Welcome to this First Round match of the Mocker Music Bracket! It’s an indie-tastic soundscape showdown between the Flaming Lips and the Dirty Projectors. Let’s take a look at our competitors…

–The Flaming Lips “Oczy Mlody” (12 songs)…14th Studio album and it’s one of their more challenging efforts but a couple tunes offer up some scoring opportunities

–Dirty Projectors “Dirty Projectors” (9 songs)…This band has been floating around the Brooklyn indie rock scene for almost 15 years now, famous for inscrutable song compositions and naked men on their album covers…The little bit I have heard from this record leaves me thinking it will be an upset if it advances to the second round…

BASKETBALL GAMES: The tournament has started with a pair of five seeds from the ACC battling mid-major programs…1) Lotta white guys on the court of this Notre Dame/Princeton game and the Irish lead by four late in the half 2) Annual tourney disappointment Virginia is trailing by four early on to North Carolina-Wilmington and their bright yellow high-lighter uniforms

30:00…Dirty Projectors (Up In Hudson)…Horn-age and some electronic sampling begin the Mocker Music Bracket!! All the reviews I have read say this is an emotional break-up album courtesy of Main Projector Dave Longstreth…he just lost a point with the lyric saying he was listening to Kanye West while driving on the Taconic Parkway…”Love will just burn out, love with just fade away”…the chorus has some earworm potential and this jammy-jam at the end is an interesting strategic ploy with only 24 minutes left in the contest…1 point awarded

VIRGINIA/UNC WILMINGTON: Huge run by the Seahawks stakes them to a 12 point lead with eight minutes left in the half…this team looks like it has some dudes and Virginia has had trouble scoring all season long so upset alert is high on this one!

23 minutes left…Dirty Projectors (Keep Your Name)…Deep, bassy vocals from Longstreth on this one…until the high-pitched sample vocals start to take control…whoa, we have some rapping about what a crap boyfriend Longstreth was…0 points awarded (almost gave this one some slow grower potential but I shouldn’t be grading on that for this exercise)…

18 minutes left…Dirty Projectors (Little Bubble)…He is back to the high pitched Michael Jackson vocals for this one and I am beginning to worry that Wayne Coyne and the boys didn’t get the memo…truth be told this album was already evicted from my phone once this year but with so many spots open in this tournament I decided to give it another chance…man, the last 45 seconds of this song were really good but not enough to make up for the four minutes of boring shit that came before it…0 points awarded

MAN-BUN: Number five for Virginia is a Freshman white dude who has a shitty little man-bun and the best part of the college basketball season was when I was in the Carrier Dome and the student section started a ‘Fuck You, Man-Bun’ chant after he had canned a couple of three pointers…Virginia on a nice run and are back within five with under four minutes left in the half

12 minutes left…Dirty Projectors (I See You)…Man, my partner in podding Eric and I talked about a band dominating the stage so much that you had no choice but to advance them and we might have that situation developing in the first match-up of the tourney! Every one of these songs has about a thirty second stretch of goodness but the rest is just between dreadful and mediocre…the organ at the end warrants this netting a foul shot…1 point awarded…

7 minutes left…The Flaming Lips (Do Glowy)…The Lips take the stage at just the right time and this weird track has the advantage of repeated listens as it’s not that much different than the Projectors but it’s going to tie up the score at two with time for one more possession!

3 minutes left…The Flaming Lips (Oczy Mlody)…Another clutch performance as this instrumental title track will close this first round match out…I might be a tad generous in granting this a free throw but, hey, sometimes games are decided by the officials!

FINAL SCORE: The Flaming Lips 3 Dirty Projectors 2…Hopefully we can look back at this match-up and say that it was the worst of the first round…let’s move on…

PITT BRACKET-FIRST ROUND…Gone Is Gone, “Echolocation” (12 songs) vs. Foxygen, “Hang”(8 songs)

PREVIEW: I haven’t listened much to Gone is Gone, a stoner metal super-group combining the forces of Mastodon, Queens of the Stone Age and At The Drive-In while past mockumendation Foxygen is one of the most listened to records of the year…will it make a difference? Let’s find out!

GAMES UPDATE: 1) Notre Dame’s white guys continue to be just a little bit better than Princeton’s white guys as they lead by seven with 7:30 to play 2) Virginia has put the clamps on Wilmington but they still trail by one early in the second half…upset alert has been downgraded 3) Former mid-major Butler leads current mid-major Winthrop by seven about halfway thru the first half…

30 Minutes Left: Gone is Gone (Slow Awakening)…Sludgy and strong start to this contest with some almost spoken word vocals (not the muppet growl that I was afraid of!)…really nice jammy-jam about three-quarters of the way in…2 points awarded…

25 Minutes Left: Gone is Gone (Resolve)…Interesting choice to play an acoustic track so early in the game but I am digging it…good for a foul shot and and a quick three point lead before Foxygen even takes the stage…

21 Minutes Left: Gone is Gone (Dublin)…Our international traveler and full-time chaffuer Jamie HS will like the name of this song…trash can percussion on a song that reminds me of Nine Inch Nails and the solid slow build leads to another foul shot and a 4-0 lead…

17 Minutes Left: Gone is Gone (Gift)…Another match-up where one band is dominating the stage time…what the fuck is wrong with the Random Anomaly on my Google Music player? This is a clutch effort as the Queens overtones are leading to a lay-up and a six point lead against a band that has shown no interest in even participating…

13 Minutes Left: Foxygen (On Lankershim)…Huge performance from Foxygen as we get their best effort in this slice of 70’s AM gold…our first three point shot of the tournament slices the Gone is Gone lead to three.

9 Minutes Left: Gone is Gone (Pawns)…Just getting back on stage was a win for this band to blunt the Foxygen momentum…solid brawny guitar stomper worth another point…Gone is Gone 7 Foxygen 3…

6 Minutes Left: Foxygen (America)…Shea the Beagle must want his dinner as he is sitting on my leg as I am typing this notation…Showtune song that I’ve spent all year trying to convince Eric sounds like Dream Theater…one of their longer tunes and that is working against them as they need another possession to have a chance to win…wow, horrible clock management and this contest is over…

FINAL SCORE: Gone is Gone 7 Foxygen 4…I’m a little surprised by this result but it shows you what a little hard work and a little stage possession will get you…

NOTRE DAME/PRINCETON: It’s Princeton ball , down by three with twenty seconds left…this is what March Madness is all about!! Will the Princeton coach actually devise a decent play to set up an open three point attempt? He actually did but the white guy couldn’t make it but a tap in cuts the Irish lead to one…missed foul shot by Notre Dame’s Gritty Point Guard leads to an open three pointer for the win but Princeton’s number 3 clanks it off the back rim and the luck of the Irish prevail…

VIRGINIA/WILMINGTON: Cavaliers have been in control for most of the second half but Wilmington is sticking around and only trail by five with just over four minutes to go…EDITOR’S NOTE: Clutch basket by Virginia’s Shayock with under thirty seconds left propels Cavs into the second round…consolation points awarded to Wilmington…

SOUTH DAKOTA STATE/GONZAGA: Gonzaga has only lost one time the entire season but trail the 16th seeded Jackrabbits by three late in the first half…needless to say this would be both the biggest upset in tournament history and also the most expected upset in tournament history considering it’s Gonzaga…

BUTLER/WINTHROP: This match-up sounds like the name of a high class period drama that WGN America is producing…Butler, a team I have thought was overrated the entire season is leading by 14–this is why I don’t fill out a bracket any more…

BOEHEIM BRACKET-FIRST ROUND…Elbow, “Little Fictions” (10 songs) vs. The Sadies “Northern Passages” (11 songs)

PREVIEW: I’ve listened to Elbow’s slow growing indie rock for over 15 years now and this should be a great match-up with the Sadies meat and potatoes rock’n’roll attack…

30 Minutes Left: Elbow (K2)…Mid-tempo, meandering number kicks off this match-up and it’s good for a free throw…

25 Minutes Left: Elbow (Head For Supplies)…The Elbow lead singer is a little pudgy so maybe this song is about his adventures down British supermarket aisles…tough call here, the song has a nice slow build to it so I’ll give it two points…Elbow 3 Sadies 0

20 Minutes Left: Elbow (Little Fictions)…I can’t tell you how much these uneven randoms are pissing me off…these two albums have almost the same exact amount of songs on them! Long offering as Elbow is making the most of their stage time–first part of the song was awful but a nice jammy-jam during the last two minutes salvages a point…Elbow 4 Sadies 0

12 Minutes Left: Elbow (Gentle Storm)…Disappointed, as I feel The Sadies have the better record but their chances of advancement are diminishing with every two and a half star Elbow track…Ok, I am advancing a new rule that if a band hasn’t taken the stage with under ten minutes left then we get to hear a track from them…we’ll call it the Sadies Proviso…this song was really boring…no points awarded…

9 Minutes Left: The Sadies (Riverview Fog)…Sadies finally show up with their melodic, easy going rock’n’roll replete with nostalgic lyrics of ‘long gone days’…solid two point shot get them back in the game…Elbow 4 Sadies 2…

6 Minutes Left: The Sadies (Questions I’ve Never Asked)…Ok, The Random is self-correcting and I am head-bobbing along to another solid effort…really solid jammy-jam closes the beer joint down and we have ourselves a tie game!

3 Minutes Left: The Sadies (God Bless The Infidels)…Wow, they might be talking about this comeback for years to come! Some solid gold steel guitar picking that reminds me of Buffalo Springfield leads to another two points but they left just enough time for one more performance! Sadies 6 Elbow 4

1 Minute Left: Elbow (Firebrand and Angel)…Wow, can’t tell you how fast Elbow got on stage to try and tie this epic battle up…another long winded tune that never really builds up to anything and it’s only good for a point…

FINAL SCORE: The Sadies 6 Elbow 5…I am sure all the die hard Elbow fans will cry chicanery but the Random works in mysterious ways (as I am typing this an Elbow song is playing that would have easily been given two points) and I do feel the better album won…

BUTLER/WINTHROP: Easy win for Butler, watch out for this underrated group of scrappers…

WEST VIRGINIA/BUCKNELL: West Virginia’s coach Bob Huggins is one of my dad’s most hated sports figures after he left his beloved Cincy Bearcats under a cloud of drunken drunkeness so it’s nice to see his Mountaineers are in a tussle with Bucknell’s batch of white dudes…EDITOR’S NOTE: West Virginia ends up winning an ugly foul ridden game and I am sure Huggy-Bear is already shit-faced in the locker room shower…

GONZAGA/SOUTH DAKOTA STATE: Gorgonzola have slowly pulled away as the Jackrabbits are having a hard time scoring, which is something jackrabbits don’t usually have a hard time doing…

EAST TENNESSEE STATE/FLORIDA: You can tell it’s the first round since we still have a decent number of geographic team names in the tourney…usually there is one East/West/Central Nebraska/Iowa/Carolina that springs an upset…Gators stumbled down the stretch but they lead by five midway thru the first half…upset alert: negligible

–Let the record show that at 4:07 every channel was either at halftime or in a commercial…very dispiriting for me and my special guest Mr. Sweet…

MINNESOTA/MIDDLE TENNESSEE: See above notation plus Middle Tennessee upset Big Ten school Michigan State in last year’s tourney…upset alert: medium to high…

BOEHEIM BRACKET-FIRST ROUND…Ron Gallo, “Heavy Meta” (11 songs) vs. Sallie Ford, “Soul Sick” (11 songs)

PREVIEW: Big time battle of indie rock in a match-up that we really should be seeing a couple rounds from now…this one is going to come down to song selection and stage possession!

30 Minutes Left: Ron Gallo (Poor Traits of the Artist)…Special thanks to Resident Masshole McNutts for this rock solid and scuzzy recommendation…guitars are shredding thru Davis Avenue and I am making strange motions with my hands…solid lay up and two points for Gallo…

26 Minutes Left: Ron Gallo (Started a War)…Turning down the volume a notch on this one until a solid jammy-jam in the last minute…still only giving him a free throw for this one…Gallo 3 Ford 0…

22 Minutes Left: Sallie Ford (Never Gonna Please)…We finally get some Random Diversity in the first fifteen of the contest (can you tell I am OCD about these completely unimportant zeroes and ones)…song is anchored by a chugging, bluesy guitar riff which makes up for her over stretched vocals and it gets Ford back in the game…Gallo 3 Ford 1

19 Minutes Left: Sallie Ford (Screw Up)…Miss Sallie is often hard on herself during the course of this album as you can tell by this song title…really like this one and we have a tie game, folks!

15 Minutes Left: Ron Gallo (Please Yourself)…Shortest tune of the day is rewarded with two points…Gallo 5 Ford 3

14 Minutes Left: Sallie Ford (Failure)…It’s a heavyweight battle as these two indie titans are trading punches at this point…another mid-tempo number in the vein of her last offering and it nets another two points Gallo 5 Ford 5

11 Minutes Left: Sallie Ford (Rabid Eyes)…Critical turnover as Ford has slowly started to dominate stage possession! This tune has a stone cold killer chorus and it’s worthy of the rare three pointer…that is The Clutch Performance of the Day sponsored by Sound-Go-Round…Ford 8 Gallo 5

7 Minutes Left: Sallie Ford (Get Out)…This might be a song directed right at Ron Gallo as this performance might be the nail in his coffin…another chorus that has me singing along and it’s another two points in the bank…

3 Minutes Left: Ron Gallo (Can’t Stand You)…Oh man, is there bad blood forming between these two?? Maybe Little Sallie Ford blocked Gallo’s stage route at some point…wow, Gallo just barely gets another song in before the buzzer strikes…Ford 10 Gallo 7

O Minutes Left: Ron Gallo (Young Lady, You’re Scaring Me)…Scalding hot electric guitars and you have to give the young man credit for giving it all and…he’s done it…it’s a three pointer at the buzzer and we are headed to overtime!! Ford 10 Gallo 10…I’ll give each record one song to try and sort this madness out…

Ron Gallo (Don’t Mind The Lion)…Adding a dash of prog to his sound on this one and I think he has left the door open for Sallie as it meanders a bit…

Sallie Ford (Hurts So Bad)…Geez, not the best selection here as it once again puts her voice in uncomfortable places…oh man, song is salvaged by a decent coda…such a tough call, last minute decision…going strictly on these last two songs…gotta go with Gallo…Ford left about five songs that would have done the trick for her in the green room, complete choke job on her part…

NORTHWESTERN/VANDERBILT: The first ever tournament game for the Northwestern Wildcats after nearly 300 years of futility!! They lead the Vanderbilt Dorks by nine early in the second half…EDITOR’S NOTE: This turned out to be the best game of the day as Northwestern wins by two thanks mainly to an intentional foul by a Vandy guard when they were actually leading by a point with 15 seconds left (he though they were losing for some reason…as always, college).

SECTIONAL TENNESSEE SCHOOLS: East Tennessee is easily dispatched by Florida but Middle Tennessee is leading the Golden Gophers by seven with seven minutes left (although they were leading by seventeen just a few minutes ago, as always you can never count out a gopher)…upset alert: high!! EDITOR’S NOTE: Upset achieved as Middle Tennessee blunted the Gopher rally with some strong play by a dude with a high quality widow’s peak.

Ok, that is only part one! We’ll be back for part two tonight! Thanks for reading and please send us a message @MockersPodcast if you want to tell us your favorite bracket busters!

 

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